August 29, 2013
by Bronwyn Marquardt *
As she recovered from life-saving cancer surgery, Rowena Dionysius could have been forgiven for feeling sorry for herself.
A cancer diagnosis is difficult for anyone to bear, but in Rowena’s case, this cancer was her second run-in with the disease. And in a cruel twist of fate, the tumour was completely unrelated to her first cancer.
Just as she thought she was recovering and getting on with her life, Rowena’s body had been invaded by another cancer entirely.
Another battle for life was just beginning.
Anyone else would stop and ask: Why me? But the Kingaroy accountant, wife, and mother-of-two, has never allowed herself to take that path.
“I think that’s a dangerous road to go down,” she says. “I can’t even go there. I never really felt sorry for myself. I just thought: ‘Whatever. I’ve got this. Let’s just deal with it’.”
That’s not to say the last few years have been easy.
It was six years ago when Rowena, then 39, noticed a suspicious lump in her breast.
“My chest had been feeling quite sore, and when I put my hand on it I felt a lump,” she recalls. “I said to my husband to check this out, and he felt it too, and I thought: ‘Uh oh’.”
Her GP told her to go straight to Brisbane for tests, and as luck would have it, there had been a cancellation at the Wesley Hospital, where the lump was biopsied the next day.
She had the diagnosis that afternoon: Breast cancer, high in the chest wall.
The position made surgery difficult, and due to complications, Rowena endured five operations, including a mastectomy and reconstruction.
There were multiple infections, which made recovery extraordinarily painful. Chemotherapy followed, meaning five months of driving back and forth to Brisbane.
Rowena was never well enough after chemo to drive herself, and husband Les, busy taking care of home and their two children, Brodie, then 11, and Rhiarn, then 8, couldn’t always manage the time.
Friends rallied around to help get Rowena to her appointments and drive her home after chemo.
Her sister-in-law also moved into the family’s home to help.
“We would have fallen apart without her,” Rowena admits.
Their mother’s illness was incredibly hard on the children, who had to deal with prolonged absences from Rowena, and seeing her so ill.
Rowena lost her hair, needed blood transfusions, and had to stop studying her accountancy degree due to the disease (she graduated last year). Complications meant she also had to undergo a hysterectomy.
When they say you battle cancer, it’s true,” Rowena says. “It was tough. It was a good year or two before I was finally able to feel like I was over it and doing well.”
Then, in 2011, Rowena discovered a lump in her neck.
It turned out to be cancer again, but unexpectedly, was not a return of the disease that had turned her life upside down a few years earlier. This disease, was a new cancer entirely, a Parotid tumour.
Infuriatingly, the rare cancer was initially misdiagnosed, wasting precious time.
Did she think about suing the cancer clinic doctor responsible?
Again, Rowena is philosophic.
“Honestly, it was not worth the stress,” she says.” Doctors see so many people; they can’t get it right all the time. And apparently, only 2 per cent of people end up with this type of tumour being malignant.
“I’ve never been back to the doctor who misdiagnosed it, that’s for sure. But I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined someone’s career and someone’s life. There was no need for that. I just wanted to focus on getting well again.”
This time, the treatment involved more difficult surgery to remove the cancer from her jawline, salivary gland and lymph nodes.
Six weeks of radium treatment in Toowoomba followed.
The radium made her so tired and weak she could barely keep her eyes open. She stayed at Toowoomba for the six weeks, returning home to Les and the children on weekends.
The family even spent Christmas at Olive McMahon Lodge, Cancer Council accommodation for regional cancer patients and their families, in Toowoomba.
“They were wonderful,” says Rowena. “They let my sister-in-law come too, and they even found us a Christmas tree. You’d think it would have been sad, but we were happy to be together.”
And that’s partly why a recovered Rowena is so involved with the Relay For Life, a charity fundraiser whose funds go to the Cancer Council.
“I had my treatment for both cancers through the public system, and it was fantastic,” she says.
“I feel I need to give something back, and the Relay For Life is a way to do it. Plus it’s fun and I enjoy it. And the whole family gets involved.”
Rowena started out by being part of a team, but took over as chair of the South Burnett Relay For Life last year.
This year she hopes the event will raise more than $100,000.
The first lap of the Relay is always completed by survivors and carers.
It sends an important message because even though the statistics are now that one in two will get cancer, you can and do survive. It’s not such a death sentence, and these people are proof of that.”
* * *
What is the Relay For Life?
In the South Burnett, it’s an 18-hour series of laps around the Kingaroy Showgrounds.
Held on the weekend of October 12-13, it starts at 3:00pm on the Saturday afternoon and runs until 9:00am on Sunday.
Registration costs $20 per person, $15 for under 18s, which gets you a T-shirt, and breakfast on Sunday.
You’re not expected to walk or run endlessly around the showgrounds for 18 hours! Only one person from every team needs to walk at any one time, as long as they pass the baton or club on when they want to swap over. Of course, several members or whole teams can walk together if they want to.
Any level of fitness can join in, and some people even bring their babies.
There are elderly walkers, kids, and some people currently undergoing treatment for cancer. Others walk in memory or support of loved ones who have been diagnosed or lost to cancer.
Entertainment, games, and a community atmosphere runs throughout the night and there is a lockdown at 10:00pm to ensure all participants are safe.
Friends and family are encouraged to stay throughout to lend support until lockdown, at which time they will be asked to leave unless they have a wristband.
Members of the public are invited to attend the first lap, which is walked by survivors of cancer and carers, and also the candlelight ceremony at dusk, when those fighting cancer and lost to cancer are honoured.
For those staying overnight, camping bags, swags, and tents are encouraged, and teams can organise a roster so participants can snooze throughout the night.
Each team has a minimum of 10 participants, and a maximum of 15. Teams are asked to attempt to raise $1000 per team.
Participants raise money by selling chocolates, washing cars, holding car boot sales, running garage sales, selling flowers and holding raffles. Donations also come from friends and family members.
This year, the South Burnett Relay For Life held the wildly successful Dinner With The Captains, which raised a massive $38,000 for the cause, with thanks to former patron Carl Rackemann for his support.
With at least 38 teams registered already, Rowena is well on her way to her target of 40 teams for this year’s Relay.
For more information, visit the Relay For Life website or phone the Cancer Council’s Toowoomba office on (07) 4690-5800.
* * *
* Author Bronwyn Marquardt recently moved back to the South Burnett. She blogs regularly at Maid In Australia
