Friends That Help … With Dignity

August 16, 2018

There’s a registered charity working quietly behind the scenes in the South Burnett, doing critically important work – and we bet you’ve never heard of them.

That’s despite the fact that “Friends With Dignity” was named “2018 Charity Of The Year” at The Australian Charity Awards.

Local team leader Janice (* not her real name) described “Friends With Dignity” as “the tail on the donkey”.

The volunteers step in to help after a relationship has broken down through domestic violence and one partner has ended up in a refuge.

They never actually meet the people they help – that’s the job of social workers and support workers who Janice says do the “tough work”.

The Friends With Dignity set up a new home for the women (and men) who have often fled their previous home with almost nothing except their children.

These new homes are called “sanctuaries” in the jargon of the group.

When a request comes through to furnish a house or flat, Janice and her seven volunteers swing into action.

The family will need a fridge, a washing machine, a sofa, an electric kettle … even things as basic as toiletries and personal hygiene items.

And the children will need toys, games, jigsaws …

There’s even artwork for the walls!

Janice then looks through what the group already has in storage, and if there’s nothing suitable they turn to friends, workmates or people such as Mary, Sandy, Debbie, Peter, Sue … local businesspeople who aren’t afraid to pitch in to help, either through donations of goods, or cash.

“Some people are just plain marvellous,” Janice said.

A Kingaroy businessman, Richard, has provided free storage space for the group. This fills up and empties as various sanctuary homes are set up.

“It’s all through word of mouth,” Janice said.

“It’s not unusual for me to make 50 phone calls to various helpers when doing a sanctuary.”

For privacy – and security reasons – the Friends With Dignity volunteers never see the families they’re helping, and know almost nothing about them except it’s “mother + 1”, or “mother + 3”.

Janice has been helping to set up “sanctuaries” for four years.

She is currently working on her 24th, 19 of which have been in the South Burnett.

She does not know if all the people she has helped have been from the South Burnett or have moved here from elsewhere as the charity works with local women’s refuges as well as a number in Brisbane.

“I only get told the information that I need. Last year I did nine in five months …” she said.

The biggest task she faced was setting up a home for a mother and nine children: “It was mammoth.”

When southburnett.com.au dropped in on Thursday, Janice was collecting items from storage to set up a home for a “mother + 1”.

She was carefully selecting items that match, that look nice … items that a “friend” would provide “with dignity”.

“It has to look nice. Near enough is not good enough,” she said.

The home is not in the South Burnett, which means Janice has some long drives ahead her.

The families get to keep the items and, most importantly – at a time when they are worrying about bonds and rent payments – they don’t have to pay one cent.

“A support worker helps them find a home they can afford, and helps to organise getting the kids into school,” Janice said.

To minimise the rent on an empty house, Friends With Dignity aims to furnish it within a week but Janice and her team try to do it in three days.

“It’s why we have to collect items in advance,” she said.

Both Janice and her husband own utes, and it usually takes at least three or four loads to get everything into its new home.

No one pays for their petrol … it’s all part of the volunteer work that Janice seems to be thriving on.

“All of us have hobbies that we spend our free money on. I choose to spend my money on this,” she said.

“I enjoy it. I feel like I have done something really constructive. I get really tired at the end of the day, but I feel good.”

Oddly enough, one of Janice’s greatest needs is curtain rods …

“The houses never seen to have curtain rods, and I can spend $60 to $100 just buying curtain rods,” she said.

Member for Nanango Deb Frecklington recently gave the group $200, which was spent on bedside tables, lamps and … curtain rods.

South Burnett Mayor Keith Campbell donated $100 which Janice used to buy bathroom, laundry and feminine products. These are other items which are always needed.

But why the secrecy?

Some of it is to preserve the dignity of the families that they are helping, but sadly security is a real issue, too.

Angry former spouses use all means to track down their ex-partners, and can blame the people who have helped them set up their new lives.

“We don’t break up families,” Janice said. “They have already left them. We come in later and help them to rebuild a new life.

“But it’s a serious business. People can die, and have died in the South Burnett …”

* * *

Friends With Dignity is a registered charity and donations of more than $2 are tax deductible.

Information about how to make cash donations – marked “for South Burnett / Kingaroy region” can be made via emailing donate@friendswithdignity.org.au

The other items – apart from curtain rods! – that Janice is always looking out for are bunk beds, refrigerators and washing machines, and the space to store them.

• External links: Friends With Dignity website and Facebook page