{"id":57315,"date":"2014-02-17T22:53:32","date_gmt":"2014-02-17T12:53:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/southburnett.com.au\/news2\/?p=57315"},"modified":"2020-12-07T10:54:43","modified_gmt":"2020-12-07T00:54:43","slug":"kaye-carves-out-a-pathway-to-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/southburnett.com.au\/news2\/2014\/02\/17\/kaye-carves-out-a-pathway-to-hope\/","title":{"rendered":"Kaye Carves Out A Pathway To Hope"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Kaye<\/a>
Kaye is on a new pathway since she found peace with diagnosis and treatment<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\"\"<\/a>February 17, 2014<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

by Bronwyn Marquardt *<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kaye Hibbs’ eyes mist over as she recalls the years where she was tortured by undiagnosed mental illness.<\/p>\n

It’s hard to reconcile the woman she\u2019s describing with the softly-spoken, kind-hearted woman I’m seeing now.<\/p>\n

As we chat, Kaye stops to offer cheery words to volunteers, take phone calls from those in need, and offer genuine hugs.<\/p>\n

It’s difficult to imagine her raising her voice, let alone being abusive or neglectful to loved ones or herself.<\/p>\n

Yet Kaye insists she was once that person. And she almost lost everything before rescue came in the form of a proper diagnosis and eventually, the correct treatment.<\/p>\n

Now 51, Kaye is the brains and the energy behind the Pathway 2 Hope, a local drop-in centre for people with mental illnesses, particularly those who need support in-between visits to doctors, psychologists and other health professionals.<\/p>\n

“It’s particularly important in country areas where there just aren’t enough facilities for people with mental illnesses,” Kaye says.<\/p>\n

“It can be weeks before you can even get in to see a psychologist once you’ve been diagnosed. And there is no full-time psychiatrist here at all. Yet we know that people who live in rural areas are at a greater risk of depression and suicide than people in the city.”<\/p>\n

Kaye is a typical example of a person who fell through the cracks.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As a young girl she felt abandoned by her mum, when financial circumstances forced her mother to get a job.<\/p>\n

That left young Kaye to walk home from primary school alone.<\/p>\n

One day she was sexually assaulted – something she never felt able to talk about. Instead, she pushed it to the back of her mind and tried to forget.<\/p>\n

She moved out of home when she was 16, but had a bad experience with flatmates that sent her back home to where she didn’t want to be.<\/p>\n

There was a teenage pregnancy and a termination, something her parents thought was for the best at the time.<\/p>\n

“That scarred me for life,” she said.<\/p>\n

“I’ve only recently been able to forgive myself, because to me, that\u2019s murder.”<\/p>\n

Escape came in the form of marriage to a man who gave her a daughter and two sons. But the happy ending she longed for never came.<\/p>\n

Looking back, she knows now she was also suffering with mental illness, but she was too busy surviving at the time.<\/p>\n

She didn’t cope well, often venting frustration, fears and sadness out on her children, and her mother.<\/p>\n

“I refused to admit there was something wrong, and I took it out on others,” she said.<\/p>\n

“That doesn’t make it right. I abused my them, verbally and emotionally. But no matter how angry they will ever be to me, they will never be as angry as I’ll be to myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

“I acknowledge that what I did to my kids was wrong. But I love my kids.<\/p>\n

“My daughter has forgiven me. I’ve tried to contact and talk to the boys but they don’t really want to know.<\/p>\n

“But I was sick then, and I am being treated now. I am a different person. I wish they understood that.<\/p>\n

“I can never ever take back what I did or how I treated my kids. I can only express how sorry I am.”<\/p>\n

Although Kaye sought help in her 20s, her doctor at the time suggested she \u2018probably had manic depression\u2019, but the medication she needed would make her feel \u2018crook\u2019.<\/p>\n

Disheartened, she walked out of the medical centre and put it out of her mind.<\/p>\n

Shortly before Christmas in 2010, Kaye read a paper which outlined the signs of mental illness, including sadness, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and mood swings.<\/p>\n

“I had a really good think about it, burst into tears, and made an appointment to see a Mental Health Intake Worker at the Kingaroy Hospital,” Kaye said.<\/p>\n

She was accepted as an outpatient, seen by a psychiatrist, and diagnosed with four mental illnesses and later, a fifth – borderline personality disorder, bipolar, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic disorder.<\/p>\n

All the pain she’d kept bottled up inside from her traumatic past hadn’t helped her condition.<\/p>\n

“I often joke that I got mental illness for Christmas that year,” Kaye smiles.<\/p>\n

Yet Kaye was discharged from hospital and was still struggling before her doctor finally found a medication which worked for her.<\/p>\n

“That medication changed my life. I was able to think clearly, I had motivation; it was like a cloud had lifted. I was a different person.”<\/p>\n

Counselling with a clinical psychologist also helped, and Kaye sees her local doctor and nurse regularly if she needs to talk.<\/p>\n

“Once I acknowledged my illness and started taking the medication I talked to Mum, and listened to her. I realised I had been wrong about so many things, and I said: \u2018I\u2019m so sorry\u2019.<\/p>\n

“And she said we could start again, and we have. Things are better between us now than when we were small and she is 74.”<\/p>\n

Her father died of terminal cancer in November 2000. Kaye is now doing well and is in ‘a good place’ now her condition is being successfully managed.<\/p>\n

Kaye\u2019s passion is Pathway 2 Hope, the non-for-profit organisation she set up to support other people in the South Burnett with mental illness.<\/p>\n

The centre offers information, friendly shoulders, and support to people who think they may have a mental illness and need help, and also to their family and friends.<\/p>\n

Pathway To Hope is also there for those who are diagnosed but have to wait long periods before they can see their health professionals.<\/p>\n

“My focus is on people with a mental illness, their carers and families, having someone to go to when they need to, seven days a week. I\u2019m here five days a week, but have my phone on me every single day.<\/p>\n

“There is no judgment here. People can come here and be accepted for who they are.”<\/p>\n

Staffed by Kaye and other volunteers, and the centre relies on donations to survive, although they eventually hope to be self-sufficient.<\/p>\n

“We’re not professionals, we are just here to help and offer support. Everything is confidential and we can give out business cards to see a doctor, or tell people to go to Mental Health to see an intake worker so they can see a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis.”<\/p>\n

The drop-in centre is particularly important in the rural sector, which is the worst-affected area for mental health in Australia.<\/p>\n

“There is one person with mental illness for early 2000 people in the South Burnett,” says Kaye.<\/p>\n

“But we focus on the positives here. You can’t change the past; you can only change the future. I could be negative and wonder why did I have to get five mental illnesses? But I’ve turned it into a positive because it means I can be here helping others, making sure they don’t fall through the cracks like I did.<\/p>\n

“If I was to offer advice to anybody it\u2019s don’t be ashamed of having a mental illness, be ashamed of not doing anything about it.”<\/p>\n

Pathway 2 Hope’s shop and drop-in centre is at 141 Haly Street, and is open from 9:00am to 3:00pm Monday to Friday.<\/p>\n

The centre is having a garage sale to raise funds on February 21, 22 and 23.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n